Avoid This To Improve Your Mindset

Are you struggling to improve your mindset?

A lot of the mindset advice out there sucks.

Okay maybe sucks is too strong…

But a lot of the advice is incomplete.

And you know your mindset is one of the most important parts of creating the life and business you want.

So I’m gonna share ways to make the common mindset advice more useful.

And, at the end, I’m also gonna share a practice that’s had a huge impact on my mindset and the mindset of my clients.

Let’s get into it…1 common thing you hear is “power through”

Pro: 

  • This makes some sense because it is important to have courage and deal with discomfort

Con:

  • It’s really like fighting with yourself, so this can only take you so far.

A more helpful approach:

  • Practice courage, accept discomfort AND let go of some of the resistance, so your mind encourages you to act on your desired behaviors. 

    (I’m sharing more of the how at the end of this email)

Another common thing you hear is “ignore your thoughts/feelings”Pro: 

  • It’s helpful to let go of unproductive stories

Con:

  • It’s also important to be aware of your beliefs and things that hold you back because that’s the foundation of changing patterns
  • Also processing your feelings is important for your expansion.
  • When you ignore what you feel it’s hard to give yourself what you need.

A more helpful approach:

  • Acknowledge your thoughts and discern which stories no longer need your attention.
  • Give attention to the sensations in your body and let yourself FEEL them. (There’s wisdom on the other end of the feeling)
  • Use practices that help you relate to your experiences differently by creating new perspectives, feelings and beliefs.

The last common mindset advice I’ll share is “mentally replace the unproductive thought with a better one”.

Pro: 

  • Can help you speak kinder to yourself and open yourself to new possibilities

Con: 

  • Can lead you to neglect important parts of yourself and things that need your attention.
  • This isn’t sustainable because you don’t get to the root of what’s leading to the thought, so it may keep popping up.

A more helpful approach:

  • Replace language that isn’t helpful for you AND give attention to the subconscious beliefs and feelings, so you can process what you need to and create new beliefs.

The reason a lot of common mindset advice falls short is because it ignores the role the body plays in our automatic feelings and reactions.

It also focuses mostly on your thoughts, but overlooks the subconscious beliefs and feelings that lead to the thoughts.

One of the most help practices I’ve found to help transform the body’s reactions as well as subconscious beliefs and feelings is hypnotherapy.

I love using hypnotherapy to help my clients grow as people and with their business because it makes it easier to change things on the subconscious level.

In other words you can work more with what’s at the root, instead of fighting with what’s on the surface.

Curious have you tried hypnotherapy at all?

Talk soon,
Kyle

P.S.When you’re ready here are a couple ways I can help you grow as a person and with your business

  1. Join my free Telegram channel where I share more in depth mindset, marketing, and body-based insights to help you and your business grow
  2. If you want to work through mental and emotional blocks and have a helpful strategy to grow your service based business reply with “brainstorm” and we can brainstorm together

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One Key To Unlock Your Growth

How open are you to receiving love?

Your answer to this has a big impact on the growth of your business.

So lemme explain…

Shortly after starting therapy, I told my therapist I wanted to scale back on sessions.

So with a surprised look on her face, she encouraged me to share more of what was underneath my desire.

There were multiple things at play, but one main insight I got was there was a cap on the amount of love I felt safe receiving.

And the more we exceeded that cap, the more I felt like I needed to run away.

I was so used to PERFORMING for love, so receiving love just for BEING felt off to me.

But I saw this translate to my business as well.

Even when someone told me our work together had a significant impact on their life, there was this underlying feeling that I wasn’t doing enough.

So it impacted the amount of money I felt “good enough” to receive.

But a big shift happened to me in recent months.

There has been a ton of feeling of feelings and energetic practices that have helped me move through these blocks.

But the biggest difference maker was the awareness of 1 main thing.

I became aware that my way of BEING has incredible value and is worth all of the love and all of the money.

I started to own that I have natural gifts—a unique genius that is VALUABLE AF to the right people.

And this felt so revolutionary because it helped me connect more to my power, double down on what made me unique and opened me up to receive even more.

I see something similar with people I work with…

Often they feel like they’re doing something wrong or what they have to offer isn’t significant enough.

So this creates resistance to them attracting clients and money.

And what unlocks their growth more than any strategy is awareness of their unique gifts and 1 important decision. 

The decision that their unique gifts are VALUABLE AF.

Conversely this decision allows them to open to the possibility that people are ready, excited and able to pay for the transformations they provide.And this creates a different level of magnetism. 

Because the way you’re BEING attracts people that mirror your beliefs.

And the strategy and alignment work will naturally flow from a place of enoughness. 

So if you’re nodding your head to this, want to connect more with the power and value of your unique genius, and focus on the growth of your business in an aligned way, reply to this email and we can chat.

Sending you love,

Kyle

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The Power Of Your Pain

Since you’re here, I’m gonna make an assumption… You want power in what you do.

You want to be a powerful creator.

But there are a ton of things that can feel like they’re working against you. Like:

  • generational trauma
  • bills
  • a society that prepares you to play a role and downplay your uniqueness
  • etc.

You want to turn your pain into your power.

So to help with this I want to explore an idea…

What if those things that feel like they’re blocks are actually your path?

This is an understanding I’ve been thinking about.

Because without this perspective life can feel hopeless, like you’re a victim and like you don’t have value to share.

Like you don’t have any power.

But my intention isn’t to downplay the pain, grief and suffering we experience in life.

Conversely I want to consider the value of accepting discomfort instead of rejecting it. 

Because we learn so much from pain, but often in society we demonize painful experiences.

Someone dm’d me on Tik Tok to ask me where I got a lot of the wisdom from that I share.

My main response was that it comes from trauma and processing pain.

And I imagine that’s true for you as well. 

It’s one thing to read something in a book, it’s another thing to feel the experience yourself.

And here are some other beautiful things that come from accepting pain:

  • You can connect better with your body and your intuition
  • You can let go of the shame that you may associate with feelings
  • And the BIG idea I want to share is that you can expand your capacity to be resourceful, make an impact and receive

In my experience the things I go through fuel the fire of my mission, help me to be more creative and improve my ability to help others.

So now when things feel like they’re falling apart, I’m able to tell myself that it’s really just creating space for my expansion.

Which helps me surrender to the experience and practice faith, instead of freaking out and trying to control everything.

And when things settle I’m able to see what I thought was a mess really turned out to be my message.

The pain is able to be transformed into something that helps me and others.

So if this is landing for you, I’d love to hear.

Where would like to embrace discomfort in your life and business?

Sending love,

Kyle

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The Next Level You Needed

Yo I figured something out to put yourself onto the next level.

One of the biggest things that holds you back or helps you elevate is your “self-concept”.

It’s the reason most people repeat the same patterns over and over.

I’ve been geeking out about this.

So I’m gonna share why your self-concept is such a big deal and 3 ways to be intentional with it to create the life and business you want.

What’s this “self-concept” thing I’m making a big deal about?

It’s your image of yourself, which comes from beliefs you’ve internalized.

But most of these beliefs were established by a younger you in response to:

  • your experiences
  • your caregivers
  • society

So for example, if you want to create a business that brings you lots of wealth and helps lots of people.

But a part of your self-concept is that you’re a “starving artist” or “problem child”, those subconscious beliefs will clash with what you want to create.

Even so, I know the power of your self-concept first hand.

When I had my first $20k month, in my business, my nervous system freaked out.

And my mind circled with a ton of reasons why I shouldn’t make any more money.

I even had thoughts of blowing up the business.

So what was happening here?

My self-concept wasn’t aligned with making that amount of money that quickly, so it wanted to bring me back to a point of comfort.

With that, what do we do about this?

There are 3 main things that can help you align your self-concept with the life and business you want to create.

I like to see it as a mind, body, soul connection.

1) On a mental level it’s important to decide what you want.

Know it is okay to have desires and you don’t need to feel shame or guilt about them.

Own what you want to create.

Own the things that excite you or help you feel more at home.

And be mindful of any identities that limit your ability to change your mind, live in alignment or own your full self.

A few ways my clients and I work through this are by:

  • Creating their personal manifesto and visualizing it daily 
  • Getting clarity on their values 
  • Using hypnotherapy to shift subconscious beliefs

​2) On the body level a helpful way to grow your self-concept is through shadow work.

Often when you feel triggered or anxious it’s easy to fixate on the stories in your mind.

And this usually doesn’t help much.

Conversely, what I’ve found helpful is to let go of the story in the mind and give compassionate attention to the sensations in the body.

You can place a loving hand on the part of your body that feels the tension and ask your body questions like:

  • What’s underneath this feeling?
  • What do you want to express?
  • When have I felt this way before?

This process can help you bring to light wounds and suppressed/repressed beliefs.

Giving these parts of you love and allowing the body to process these emotions can help you let go of the beliefs that aren’t serving you anymore.

3) On a soul level it’s helpful to get clarity on your mission.

  • What/who energizes you?
  • What do you feel called to do?
  • Who do you want to serve?

Clarity on these questions can light a fire that burns through identities that hold you back and help you practice courage to create something bigger than yourself.

Hence for this third part I’ve developed a “Unique Genius Framework” that helps you connect the dots on your genius.

And I’ve also found Human Design to be super helpful.

So for myself and clients I’ve used the Human Design knowledge of people like Christie Inge and Phoebe Kuhn to affirm some of our gifts.

Lastly through a mind, body, and soul approach you can transform your self concept from something that keeps you stuck…into something that’s empowering and in harmony with the life and business you want.

So if this speaks to you and you want to expand in the ways described above, let’s chat. Reply with the word “expansion” and we can talk to see if there are ways I can help you grow as a person and with your service based business.

Major love,

Kyle

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On Clearing Blocks

Hey Fam! Replay on Clearing Blocks Workshop on this post!

 “Clear Money Blocks & Attract More Wealth” Masterclass is here .

Plus there’s a special gift as well at the link.

Sharing a lil story that will help you feel seen and understand this Masterclass.

But this is about so much more than just making money.

So enjoy!

“Omg. just bought a coffee and my bank paid for it for me. Lmao this is so wild.”



I sent this message to my girlfriend 3 weeks ago, shortly after landing in LA.

To give context I was on the way to an Evryman Men’s retreat in Joshua Tree.

And this was one of the most transformative weekends of my life.

I trusted I was being guided to attend the retreat.

But I was feeling conflicted in the months prior.

I was processing feelings of unsafety, emotional neglect and unworthiness from childhood.

And when these wounds got triggered my heart closed, my mind swirled with worst-case scenarios, and possibilities felt limited.

I felt like I needed to control things to be okay, which blocked me from fully giving and receiving.

Can you relate to feeling any of this?

You might be nodding your head, if during your younger years love felt conditional.

If there were a lot of the following:

Shaming, judgment, physical abuse, verbal abuse emotional neglect, inconsistency from the caretakers you looked to for safety, love and care.

Or if the adults around you were constantly stressed and living in survival mode.

If you connect with any of the above, you might find it hard to believe in your goodness, your capabilities, or that things can work out for you.

It might not seem possible to create the type of impact and wealth you want with your business.

But I’ve learned the blocks and wounds can actually be a big help for us.

They can offer more clarity on your uniqueness and purpose.

And they can be transformed into power, wisdom, and an openness that allows the spirit to flow through you.

An openness that allows us to be held, to give grace, to surrender, to receive more than we can imagine and to find appreciation for the darkness.

And this is the healing work I’ve done over the past few years.

It’s a process of teaching my nervous system that it’s safe to trust…

That I’m worthy of receiving all of the money and love, and that my unique genius is a valuable gift.

And it’s been such a blessing to share this wisdom and teachings with others. 

It’s some of what we covered in the “Clear Money Blocks & Attract More Wealth” Masterclass. 

​But let’s wrap this story.

This Men’s retreat reminded me that it was okay to trust and let go of control.

So here’s how things unfolded:

I set an intention to be involved in men’s work and shortly after I got sponsored to attend the retreat.

I rented a car and usually, when I do, I take the cheapest option.

But this time I said, “how do I want to feel?”

And I decided to rent an SUV that was the next level up.

When I got to the rental place they were out of my SUV, so they upgraded me to the next tier and gave me a fresh BMW.

Then I drove to get coffee and my bank paid for it. (the message I started this story with)

And then I had a weekend where I felt so held by Joshua Tree and the men at the retreat.

And I laughed because I almost didn’t go on the retreat because of some reasons:

 “I didn’t want to pay for it”
“I wasn’t feeling good”
“I didn’t trust men”
and a bunch of other stories.

But the inner work creates safety, opens possibility, and connects more to my power, and does not limit myself by past trauma.

And that’s the magic in this Masterclass—tools to help you move beyond your blocks to create the life and business you want.

If you want more of that, access the “Clear Money Blocks & Attract More Wealth” Masterclass here with 1 click .

Major love,

Kyle

P.S. If you connect to any of what I shared and want to chat more. I’d love to hear from you. Send a reply. I read and respond to all of them.

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This is Real, Not Just A Flirt ❤️

I got a real message for your heart…

You ever get something you want and then feel worse after?

Maybe you made more money in your business and now you’re scared shitless about losing it.

Or you have the clients you want and you feel trapped with the responsibility.

Or you have the opportunity you wanted and your body freaks out because you feel unworthy or you’re scared you might fuck it up.

If you connect with any of the above I feel you.

I’ve experienced all of the above, and I want to share 1 quick message with you that can help.

Before I share that message though…

If you haven’t checked out my Free Masterclass “Clear Your Money Blocks & Attract More Wealth” I’d def recommend you do because it’ll help with the scenarios I just shared.

In the Masterclass, we focused a lot on moving through blocks in the body because it’s often the main thing that slows us down and also the most neglected thing when it comes to growing your business.

But back to what I was saying… 

The main message I want to share today is that you are worthy of it all.

That’s it.

And you’re not worthy because of how productive you are.

Or because you got a lot of likes on a recent social post.

Or because someone else said you are.

You’re worthy of it all just for being you – for being the real you.

You are worthy of all of the love and money just for being you—your unique genius, your unique essence, your slice of God is worthy.

I want you to reread the last 2 sentences and see how it feels.

Where is the resistance in your body?

That’s the work—to move through, integrate, and alchemize all of the parts of you that feel they aren’t worthy of unconditional love.

That’s what unlocks all of your power and magic.

All of the business strategy stuff is important too.But it needs a foundation of enoughness to stand on.

If this speaks to you and you want to chat more about moving through blocks and growing your service-based business around your unique genius reply with the words “unconditional love” and we can talk more about the ways you want to expand.

Lots of love,

Kyle

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How To Create With Ease and Power

A power through read for everyone in conflict with their creations.

This is fucking important…

Today we’re talking about creating with ease and power.

And helping creation feel good, which is a life-changing big deal.

Let’s start with some questions. 

I invite you to let yourself pause and be present with the questions.

Why do you create things?

Why do you sing, dance, draw, launch a course, share your wisdom online, build a community?

Do you do it because you need a specific outcome to happen?

Or, do you do it to feel loved?

Or, do you do it to express love?

Maybe, you do it because it feels good?

Are you doing it because it feels like a part of your purpose or core to who you are as a person?

What I’ve noticed for myself and others is that multiple answers can feel true…

But some answers feel better than others.

When I’m creating with a fixation on a specific outcome…

In other words “trying to manipulate the universe”

I often notice this is in reaction to a past wound.

The need for my creation to save me…

To make me feel loved, seen, accepted, safe in ways that I haven’t felt in the past.

Of course, the needs listed above are helpful when offered in relationships.

But, as adults, it’s important to also give ourselves what we need.

If we depend on external outcomes/creations to save us, it takes our power away and often leads to disappointment.

And if those needs weren’t met in the past by a caregiver…often, you will project onto the future that your needs won’t be met again.

And this creates a contradicting circumstance where you:

  1. Desire a specific outcome
  2. Don’t believe the outcome can happen for you

This contrast in desire and belief leads to:

  1. The need to control things to feel okay
  2. Freaking out when things don’t go as planned
  3. Procrastination, sabotage, giving up

Essentially, you’re trying to create from a survival state: fight, flight, freeze, fawn.

And not only does this not feel great…

It often means your nervous system will stop you from creating because it’s overwhelmed.

But as you create more safety in your body…

Accept, soften, and love the parts of you looking to be saved, there’s a shift that happens.

You transition from “life is happening TO ME”—a victim to life is happening FOR ME, which is a more co-creative process with the universe.

And this can be a great stage. 

This is where you might be thinking a lot about manifestation and noticing your creative powers.

But this stage also has limits…

There’s often still a need for a specific outcome so that you can feel “worthy, enough, safe, powerful, etc.”

And this can create resistance when the outcomes don’t come exactly how you expect them to.

In other words, the external outcomes are on a pedestal above yourself.

And here’s the real kicker…

When you DO get the outcome, it still doesn’t make you feel any better. 😢

Such a sick joke…

And then there’s another stage, when you realize life is happening AS YOU.

You are the flow. 

There’s nothing to resist because then you’re just resisting yourself.

And creation can shift from needing a specific outcome for you to “be valuable”

To the act of creation BEING the most profound and magical thing.

You create because it is you. 

You create to allow spirit to flow through you.

And instead of focusing on outcomes, you surrender to how you’re being called to serve.

And creation becomes a devotional act. 

You don’t create to be enough…you create because you are enough and anything less would be blocking your life.

Because ultimately you didn’t come here just to make money, or just to build a business, or just to get a lot of followers.

You came here to be your fullest self and everything else is a byproduct of that.

Prosperity then becomes your natural state. 

The path to this is moving through, accepting, and loving the parts of you that are feeling stuck by past conditioning… the parts of you that are still looking for someone else to save them.

This is how you take your power back.

This is a lot of what we covered in the free Masterclass “Clear Your Money Blocks & Attract More Wealth”

​If this is speaking to you, and you haven’t watched it, click the link above.

And if you want help to embody more of your fullness, so you create the life and business you want with ease and power, I’d love to support you. Reply with the word “Fullness” and we can chat more about how I may be able to help.

With so much love,

Kyle

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If You’re Still Scared To Be Seen…

Scared to be seen? Scared to live?

What do you do once you wake up?

And see the ways you lived aren’t how you’re meant to live or want to live…

And realize your “personality” is really coping strategies you adopted to survive?

Because you’ve been put in a box that told you be the “good boy” or be the “good girl”…

But it’s time for your new season now.

The rules of the old box were:

  • Don’t piss anyone off
  • People please
  • Dim your light
  • Don’t make anyone too uncomfortable

But I say fuck that.

And you say fuck that too.

So you know it’s time.

As there’s something bursting out of you…

Because you’re here to lead.

And use your story to transform yourself and others.

All of that suffering has helped you deepen your purpose and expertise.

The mask is coming off.

 But now it’s time to navigate these waters.

To create a new sense of home, to deepen your anchor of courage, to honor your hopes and dreams.

First, we go inside and shine light on your genius…

Because this is when we let the fiercest and softest love transform the parts of you that believed you needed to be in the box in the first place.

We’re outside now!

So it’s time to use your outside voice…

In the same way, we align with what feels most true to you.

And honor your need to be an instrument

To let the songs of your spirit pour through you.

In service to you, as you connect with your natural power and prosperity.

And in service to humanity as they remember their truth as well.

So if this speaks to you and you want to walk together as you expand yourself and your business, reply with the word “freedom” and we can chat about your desires and see if I can help.

Big love,

Kyle

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The Important Of Environment In Behavior Change

A short discussion on the importance of environment in behavior change. Can it really affect our day-to-day life?

Willpower is like an 8 year old. It wants to do well and sometimes it exceeds my expectations, but I’d be foolish to expect it to handle life’s challenges without support. 

Instead of relying on willpower, designing a supportive environment is an easier way to do more of what you want. There’s so much willpower has to battle against.

For one, most actions are habits, so you’re not even conscious of them. (Thank god I don’t have to think through how to brush my teeth every morning.) And when I do want to make conscious decisions, my willpower is up against my phone addiction, my different moods, and my growing tiredness with every second I spend awake. This is an overwhelming contest for an 8 year old. 

Design a better environment. Change will happen naturally. ‍

Inspired by James’ tweet, here are some ways I experimented with my environment:

• I used to inhale the Trader Joes Cheetos. If I bought them, they’d be eaten within 48 hours. Solution—don’t buy them.

• I get distracted during the day with notifications. Solution—put my phone on airplane mode.

• Sometimes I don’t feel motivated to exercise. Solution—schedule a workout with a friend. Rather than doing the same thing and expecting different results, do more of what you want by designing environments that make your desired actions as easy as possible.

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6 Lessons On Creativity From Virgil Abloh

Virgil Abloh, founder of fashion Brand Off-White and head mens designer for Louis Vuitton, was a prolific creator who taught me the importance of focusing on my craft instead of getting bogged down with perfectionism or the criticism of the outside world.

Here are 6 other lessons on creativity I’ve learned from him: 

1. Don’t Box Yourself In 

Virgil went to school for architecture, but he allows his thinking to transfer to other mediums. 

Thus, it states “I like the idea of being creative without limits. For me, it’s about having an idea, a perspective, and then no matter the medium, expressing that… Art galleries, for example, are a place for setting up those ideas, not a manifestation of them. That’s what fashion is in my mind, too: a physical articulation of a concept, a series of thoughts, a critique, a point of view.” 

2. No Idea is Original 

Virgil takes his inspiration and makes them 3% to 5% different 

“You also have to have mentors, dead or alive. You have to connect with a body of work or someone who formulated a thought and an aesthetic, and then build yours upon theirs.” 

3. Take Inspiration From Your World—No One Is You Or Has Your Experience Which Makes You Unique 

“My point of view as an artist is rooted in this insight I have into the world, as a human. Art and fashion are just places where a dialogue on reality should be captured and expressed, the means to an end.” 

4. Learn From The Youth 

Virgil often speaks highly of young creators and learns from them. The kids know what’s hot. 

Likewise, “It’s the kids on Prince and Mercer” (referencing young people in Soho, NYC as his inspiration) 

5. Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back—Start Your Domino Effect 

Hence, it is notable to remember: “The only way to get to your end means is to start your “domino effect” , which means to put out bad work I for one am not a perfectionist and it’s such a gratifying concept. I want everyone who has ambition to find the domino effect! Create the project that is latent with intent and see what comes after that!” 

6. Create Your Personal Design Language 

Finally, in his talk at Harvard, Virgil encouraged students to create their own design language that would guide their work. He suggested identifying a through line between your previous work and considering things the younger you would get inspirations by (colors, concepts, patterns etc.) 

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